grounded.

No one move, No one speak, Please don't say that it's just me, it's not just me. And even though I wont forget, Just don't want this to end just yet, not just yet. And if I had one chance to freeze time. And stand still and soak in everything, I'd choose right now. And if I had one night with sunshine to break through and show you everything, I'd choose right now, Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.If this is it, all we have, I know I've done all I can, If this is it.And we can stop, Inside again, And can stay till the end, If this is it.And if I had one chance to freeze timeAnd stand still and soak in everything, I'd choose right now.And if Iÿ had one night with sunshine to break through and show you everything, I'd choose right now, Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.Oh please come back again... again, Oh please come back again, Oh please come back again.And I'm so scared I might forget, Just don't want this to end just yet, Not just yet.And if I had one chance to freeze timeAnd stand still and soak in everything, I'd choose right now.And if Iÿ had one night with sunshine to break through and show you everything, I'd choose right now, Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.

numb.

baby there's beauty in goodbye.

i can't describe how i'm feeling.
perhaps it's numb.

all knowing.

I know you too well.
Better then maybe even you know yourself.
The way she has so easily manipulated you and taken over your time has me bewildered.
Even to the extent you’re backing her against one of your best friends.
You’ll probably know this is about you but I’ve given up caring.
I’d rather loose you than have her walking around like we’re all just going to bow down.
I’m sorry and I miss you but nothing will be the same until she’s gone.

kids like us.

this book lies. there is nothing wonderful about hiccups and if they do not stop i am going to lose it. i am glad i did homework laast night because i am now infront in one of my subjects.
only seven more days until im seventeen and i'm wondering where the years have gone. its funny how when your a little kid all you want to do is grow up and retain responsibilities liek a job and going to high school and now i am here i would trade anything to have those days back. i want to be carefree again. when the only homework i had were my spelling words and the only worries i had were what spot i was in four square. all i want for my birthday is to be seven again.

the hills.

it's funny how you can be so arrogant. you walk around like your lifes a mess. you have the perfect boyfriend, a best friend who will never leave you, parents who are both alive and there for you at every turn and health a sick child would give anything for. yet you're still not even slightly content. people like you make society look grim. grow up.
i am going on a journey of self discovery so i can be sure i never stoop this low.

abandoned ship.

And you quietly laugh to yourself as you stare around the room seeing everyone struggle as much as you. Whose fault is this? It’s a simple test of ideas to stretch your memory for miles, to rack your brain until it is as dry as a desert; but yet you’re sitting there smirking and thanking your lucky stars that you are not on an abandoned ship.
Who’d have thought this would be the only time in weeks, months maybe even years that you haven’t felt alone.
You try like they suggested but you don’t even get close. Instead you turn to this; writing your only incite, your only way to make sense of life.
Contemplation of becoming a total recluse after this sit in the back of your mind but then you look up and once again realise that this ship isn’t abandoned and you’re not alone.
You breathe, a sigh of relief know in that this is only a run-through, a warm up for when the real battle arrives.
If only life’s choices came with this many chances.

october first 200ninnnnne.

exactly 21 days until i enter my 18th year of being my own person.
mission, leaving this world remembered for the better.
status, searching but not finding.
and all i have to show for it is a pay slip every week, a school report and a beating heart.
what's up life!?